


Still A Better Love Story Than Titanic

by kristified



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Cruise Ship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Oh my god they were cabinmates, i wrote this for me but you guys can read it i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristified/pseuds/kristified
Summary: Aaron and Jimmy are two single guys taking some time off from their busy lives to enjoy a nice, relaxing, week-long vacation. Too bad they didn't realize that this exclusive cruise is couples-only...and anyone found out by the crew will immediately be dumped off at the next port.Worst of all, they won't get their money back.With nothing to lose, they team up to scam the cruise line and enjoy the free food, drinks, and entertainment. Surely nothing will go wrong, right?
Relationships: Aaron Rodgers/Jimmy Garoppolo, Tom Brady/Julian Edelman
Comments: 11
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I seriously think that I am one of two people in this entire world who ships this pairing, and after months of cracky headcanons with Ximena I decided to write a short little chapter. I'm super nervous because I've never posted anything and I barely edited this but--
> 
> Enjoy :)

THREE DAYS AGO...

The large cruise-liner lets out a bellow of steam and the boards below Aaron’s feet lurch as the massive ship sets sail from the port of Florida. Sipping a mojito, Aaron relaxes and leans against the railing as the shore gets smaller and smaller.

Going on this vacation was a good idea, he thinks. Originally just a flyer in the mail that he would have normally thrown away without a second thought, instead he kept it on a corner of his work desk, charmed by the pictures of sparkling oceans and tropical beaches. 

Every time his boss dumped more work on him, or when his coworkers were being annoying pieces of shit, or when he came home to yet another angry email from his estranged brother, Aaron found his eyes being drawn back to the “opportunity of a lifetime” with Star Enterprise Cruise Lines.

Even better was the shockingly low price. He made sure to read all the fine print in the brochure (because not doing that can really screw you over. He’s seen plenty of that in his clients’ so-called “contracts”), but he found no loopholes or scams. 

He even checked out their website and just found more of the same - great rates, beautiful destinations, and happy smiling couples. 

Always a bargain hunter, Aaron booked a week-long trip and promptly requested (ie: demanded) time off from work. As soon as he got home from the office, he packed his bags and hopped on a flight to Miami that evening.

And now here he is - ready to take advantage of all the amenities that this luxury ship has to offer, and to not think about a single financial spreadsheet or having to clean up his coworkers’ messes for a whole seven days. 

It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. Pure bliss.

_Nothing_ can ruin this for him. This cruise is going to be the best vacation he’s ever had in his _life_ \- Aaron feels it down in his very bones. “Another mojito, please,” he calls to a circling waiter. The worker takes his empty glass and nods, walking off to the bar. 

_I could seriously get used to this_ , Aaron thinks as he soaks in the sunlight and getting pleasantly buzzed on the free cocktails.

***

Two floors down, a certain dark-haired man shoulders open his room door and hauls his luggage in, only tripping once on the doorframe. Inside, there’s a twin bed against the wall, a flatscreen tv, a small bathroom, and a tiny window. 

Dropping his bags onto the bed, Jimmy goes over to the window and is delighted to see the ocean waves. The sun creates thousands of sparkles that dazzle his eyes, and he has to look away. Mentally, he reminds himself to wear sunglasses when he goes up to the deck. 

Man, he’s really needed this. He loves working at _Garoppolo’s Pizzeria_ , but lately it seems like business has been absolutely balls-to-the-wall crazy.

His family specializes in authentic Italian food and pastas, and their restaurant recently became semi-famous after being featured on _Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives_. Jimmy was pretty busy that day, working on making fresh pizzas and chopping vegetables, but he took a few minutes to say hello to Guy Fieri and shake his hand. Then he had to go back to the kitchen because orders were piling up.

After the tv crew left, Jimmy honestly forgot about the whole thing until a few weeks later. At home, his brother Mike hollered for him to _come to the living room, quick,_ and when Jimmy did, he caught a glimpse of their brick-and-mortar restaurant on the Food Network channel. 

“Look, Jimbo, we’re famous!” his brother said happily, elbowing him in the side. 

“Don’t call me that,” Jimmy scowled, nudging him right back. 

“Who cares?” said Billy, sprawled on the couch and eating chips. “Now we’re gonna be the most famous restaurant in town! After all the foodies see this episode, we’re gonna be rich! Everybody’s gonna come eat pizza here!”   
  
“ _Who’s_ going to be rich?” their mother retorted, wiping her hands on a towel. “You boys act like you own our restaurant, but _please._ You just work there. Your _father_ owns it, and I'm in charge of him, so that technically makes **me** the boss. Also, who forgot to take out the trash again?!”

They all started arguing then, too many brothers crammed into one room, and Jimmy threw a pillow cushion at Mike’s head, but it was all in good fun. 

What was **not** fun was dealing with the dinner rush with not only all of their usual customers, but with hundreds of hungry tourists and food bloggers. For a whole month.

Oh god, the Instagram food bloggers.

Jimmy thought he was going to go crazy after the first week; at night he kept waking up in a cold sweat because his alarm reminded him of the ovens going off and customers screaming at him for burning their pizzas. Finally, he begged off work, citing that he needed a break and brandishing a shiny Star Enterprise cruise ship pamphlet.

“It’s top-rated, and they’re offering me a great discount,” Jimmy argued, shaking the paper insistently. It shows a candid couple in mid-laugh, no doubt staged in a studio with tons of photoshop and editing but Jimmy can’t bring himself to care right now. “I’ve been saving up some money for a trip, and this is the perfect thing! It’s destiny, guys!”

So here he is, a few days later - free from pizza obligations and crazy brothers - and he just k _nows_ this is going to be the best vacation ever. He can _feel_ it - make no mistake, he thinks, this is going to be the opportunity of a lifetime!

***

Just then, static crackles as the PA system comes to life. 

**”Attention, all passengers! We hope you have a wonderful stay with Star Enterprise. As always, we welcome your patronage and wish you a safe and exciting voyage.”**

**  
  
”Please report to the main lobby within the next hour in order for the crew to finalize all couples for this journey. Recently there have been several incidents of illegal boarding and people posing as fake couples on our ships. Rest assured that the employees at Star Enterprise are working diligently to root out any such persons and ensure that each guest’s stay with us exceeds all expectations.”**

**”Any single persons - those who are not in an official relationship - will be permanently banned from our cruise line and dropped off at the next port. No refunds will be issued.”**

With a final burst of static, the loudspeakers fall silent.

  
  
  


All around the ship, happy couples suddenly look up in alarm as they hear twin shrieks of " _You’ve got to be **fucking** kidding me!!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to introduce the two main characters first, and then more people will start showing up! I'm a big Patriots and Browns fan, and I like some players on other teams but those are my main ones. Also in my heart Wes and Tom are Pats forever and also Baker is the love of my life <3
> 
> What our boys do for a living:
> 
> Aaron - CPA  
> Jimmy - Works in his family’s pizza restaurant  
> Tom - Sports coach (pee-wee football)  
> Julian - Bartender  
> Danny - Cop  
> Gronk - Bouncer  
> Wes - ??? cryptid  
> Baker - College student (undecided)  
> Jarvis - College student (sports medicine)  
> Odell - College student (kinesthesiology)  
> Myles - Grad student (literature)  
> Nick - Librarian  
> Kareem - Dog walker  
> Patrick - College student (business)  
> Travis - Grad student (business)  
> Tyreek - Personal trainer  
> Peyton - Counselor (ex-sports coach)  
> Eli - Sports coach (Tom’s rival)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short update for you all! This chapter is a little longer than last time and we introduce a few new characters here. Thanks for all your lovely comments and kudos - they give me life! Please feel free to comment and reach out to me :)
> 
> I wrote this on my lunch break so minimal editing again haha

Jimmy is man enough to admit that he may be ever-so-slightly _freaking the fuck out._ Rushing through the corridors, he frantically tries to think of what the hell he’s going to do now.

Every single person he passes is part of a couple. He’s so damn stupid - how did he not notice that until now? Sure the Enterprise cruise advertisement had happy smiling people, but how was he to know this is a couples’ only thing?

He bolts up the stairs and desperately tries not to look like the trip winded him, smiling a little too maniacally at a woman who glances at him in curiosity. She gives him a weird look and turns around. Next to her, a blonde woman takes her elbow and looks at Jimmy suspiciously, making him even more self conscious.

 _Be causal, Jimmy. Don’t be like, weird._ Damn his garbage social skills. Even though his friends tell him that he’s handsome, Jimmy can _feel_ his awkwardness like a physical weight.

He’s now on the top deck, where the pool and beach chairs are. There’s a couple of people lounging around, but most are heading downstairs to the main lobby, presumably to be registered officially.

The sinking feeling in Jimmy’s gut settles like a cold rock, and he half-heartedly looks at his watch to see that half an hour has already passed. 

In thirty minutes, the crew are going to throw him off the ship and onto the next port. All because he’s single. And he hasn’t even spent an hour on the ship! What kind of nonsense is this?!

Dejected, he heads to the one place that can make him feel better - the tiki bar. Apparently keeping with the tropical theme, it’s surrounded by fake palm leaves and the bartender is wearing a flowery lei. A couple of fresh coconuts and pineapples are on the bar, and rows of alcohol line the cabinets. 

“Long island iced tea,” Jimmy calls out, dropping heavily onto a squeaky vinyl barstool. It creaks under his weight, and he slumps onto his elbows. He might as well get dead drunk before he has to return home and deal with stupid, entitled customers again.

The bartender turns and plucks a few bottles off the shelf to make his drink. There are a few bowls of salted peanuts and he pops one in his mouth while he waits.

“Lot of booze there, buddy - planning on waking up with a hangover tomorrow?” a voice pipes up to his left. A blonde guy is perched on the next stool, fingers drumming on the counter. A half-finished beer sits in front of him. “I’m Julian - Jules for short,” he nods, noticing Jimmy’s stare.

Jimmy shrugs, rummaging in the peanut bowl and getting salt all over his fingers. “Yeah, why not? I just found out that I’m screwed so I might as well just get hammered on the cruise’s dime before they kick me out at Tahiti or Nassau or wherever the next stop is.”

Julian blinks. “Whoa, you’re single? Shit, that sucks about the rules here, but that surprised me. I’m shocked that people aren’t lining up to date you.”

The taller man barks out a laugh. “What makes you say that?”

Julian side-eyes him. “Dude, have you looked in a mirror lately? I mean, I’m taken already but you are one fine-looking dude. Look at that toothpaste ad smile. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

Jimmy just shrugs again. He’s had a few partners but nothing serious, and never any trouble with finding someone, but for some reason it always fizzles out. He can never figure out why, and the string of failed relationships make him self-conscious about how good he is as a boyfriend.

Julian takes a pull of his beer and stands up. “Well, good luck man, I hope that something works out,” he says and claps a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Gotta go - my boyfriend’s here.” Curious, Jimmy looks to where the other man is looking and spots a tall brown-haired guy in a black tank top and shorts. “That’s Tom, he’s a dork but he’s great.”

Jimmy nods and watches as Julian wanders over to Tom, who turns and smiles as soon as he sees the blonde. Tom gives Julian a hug and wraps a long arm around his shoulders. 

They look disgustingly in love. Jimmy hates it.

At least he has his booze. 

After taking a few sips of his spiked ice tea, Jimmy resigns himself to having to go back to the pizzeria and his family with his tail between his legs, in the aftermath of an epically failed vacation. Mike and Billy are going to roast him for months, but his mom will probably hold this over his head for the rest of his life.

Ah, the joys of living with a family who shows affection through bullying.

He’s on his third drink (and getting increasingly buzzed) when someone almost falls into him. His drink sloshes as he splutters, tea going up his nose. “Hey, what the hell man?”

Jimmy is about to complain some more but then he gets a good look at the other person’s face. Jimmy thinks he himself looks all right but this man is _attractive_ \- strong jawline, a perfectly groomed beard, and piercing blue eyes - Jimmy feels his face heat up immediately. 

And he can feel the other man’s muscles through his shirt, because he’s still pressed up against Jimmy. 

Not that he’s complaining (anymore). 

Jimmy spends approximately 0.5 seconds thirsting over this hot stranger before realizing that he’s probably here with his significant other. Because of the whole “couples only” thing and all. _Damn, just my luck...the hottest guy here and he’s already taken._ The disappointment is crushing.

Just then, the stranger seems to realize that he’s leaning all his weight onto another person, and draws back. Jimmy has to bite his stupid tongue to resist saying that he can stay for a while. Maybe forever. And maybe make out a little, if he wants.

God, this is why his relationships probably never worked out. He always blurts out embarrassing stuff like that.

“My bad,” the stranger murmurs. Jimmy is thirsting hardcore because even his gravelly voice makes him weak. “I just got some...unfortunate news. I’m Aaron, by the way.”

“Jimmy. Nice to meet you.”

Aaron takes a seat on the stool that Julian just vacated, dropping an empty glass on the table. He’s clearly been drinking steadily as well.

“Oh...sorry to hear that,” Jimmy answers, feeling tongue-tied. His palms are sweaty _(knees weak, arms are heavy -- dammit Jimmy, stop getting distracted)_ and his face feels hot. 

“Yeah...figured I might as well see how much alcohol my liver can take before they kick me off in Port Everglades.”

Jimmy’s booze-muddled brain screeches to a halt. “Wait, what?!” There’s no way this hot stranger is single, right? 

Aaron snorts. “Figures...this is my first vacation in five years and I can’t even enjoy it. I should have known this cruise was too good to be true. The stupid flyer didn’t even say I had to be in a relationship. What’s up with that? False advertisement, if you ask me. This business won’t see a single dollar from me, not as long as I live.” 

Jimmy licks his lips, hesitating, then figures he might as well damn the torpedoes and shoot his shot. “Huh, you know, that’s pretty interesting. You know, I also didn’t know I had to have a partner for this. Looks like we’re both going to get booted off this ship soon...ha ha...unless…?” 

Aaron just looks at him for a few seconds silently. Jimmy’s about to panic and blurt out “just kidding” but then Aaron straightens up and starts to smile. 

Damn. If Aaron wasn’t handsome before, seeing him smile makes him next-tier.

“You know, Jimmy, I think it’s a good idea I ran into you. I have an idea…”

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to introduce the two main characters first, and then more people will start showing up! I'm a big Patriots and Browns fan, and I like some players on other teams but those are my main ones. Also in my heart Wes and Tom are Pats forever and also Baker is the love of my life <3
> 
> What our boys do for a living:
> 
> Aaron - CPA  
> Jimmy - Works in his family’s pizza restaurant  
> Tom - Sports coach (pee-wee football)  
> Julian - Bartender  
> Danny - Cop  
> Gronk - Bouncer  
> Wes - ??? cryptid  
> Baker - College student (undecided)  
> Jarvis - College student (sports medicine)  
> Odell - College student (kinesthesiology)  
> Myles - Grad student (literature)  
> Nick - Librarian  
> Kareem - Dog walker  
> Patrick - College student (business)  
> Travis - Grad student (business)  
> Tyreek - Personal trainer  
> Peyton - Counselor (ex-sports coach)  
> Eli - Sports coach (Tom’s rival)


End file.
